Can I hold on to my youth?
It’s now almost the end of November 2008. Which means in 3 months I will be 22!
UNBELIEVABLE! I still haven’t really sink my teeth into the 21 yrs old’s cake of life.. And now I have to move on??
I’m not quite done with being 21.. Really unsure if can let go all the american pie, american hollywood teenage movie I’m deluding myself in.
Am I really ready?
Just yesterday Jeha and me had a conversation.. Our usual typical gossiping kind, but now there’s an extra. We talk about our age, and about marriage.
Oh DUH.
There’s a thing with being a girl. You can’t really, actually, in reality stay single for too long. No matter what the movies tell you, and your chiclit novels.. You really can’t stay single for too long.. Because Disney had long imprinted the idea that all Princesses get married to their princes at the end of the story 
Sadly, this is the idea that EVERYONE holds. Not only you, but your mother, your aunt, your whole Asian family, your friends, and the world you live in. In Indonesia, or at least in my society, you don’t stay single past 30 yrs old. That’s an old maid’s sad story, and no young powerful beautiful single girl wants to be an old maid.
And I’m 22.
It won’t be such a big deal if only 25 is not the threshold age! Yes, when you reach 25 in my society, parents begin to wonder (mothers especially!) if their single daughters will remain single and becomes a sad old maid.
So yeah, 3 years from now, will my parents be those kinds, and I the potential old maid daughter?
I don’t see any “light” in my path, as in, THE guy in my near future. Maybe not yet, or not ever, who knows.. No matter what it is, it terrifies still. Not because I’m in the hurry to get married (DUH). I guess it’s because I don’t want to be the old maid. In this fairytale, in my fairytale, I want to be the Princess who founds her prince. I want the happy ending Disney has always told me.
In the end, I don’t want to be alone.
