All girls want to be loved, while all guys simply desire to own.

I read somewhere that the above is what lies underneath every single romantic relationships between man and woman. That is what each party of a relationship seek: If it’s a woman, she seeks to be loved; and if it’s the man, he seeks to own (the woman).

Now, is that true?

Because from my own experience, and from experiences of people I know, that actually is the ‘Ugly Truth’.

If so, does that mean as a girl, I cannot expect a guy to ever ‘love’ when he is in a relationship? Because his motive to be in that relationship is never to love the other party, but to own?

Really?

I’m gonna leave that question unanswered. Maybe someone can help me to it. Or I’ll come back later when some profound wisdom is bequeathed upon me.

Tram Inspectors today! It’s like being caught cheating. I was sitting right in front of someone who got caught without a ticket, and even I felt tense and guilty just listening to him defend himself. Apparently he’s just from 2 blocks up (should’ve said one!), and ‘forgot’ to validate his ticket. He was just 1 stop shy from Bourke St, and when asked where he was going he said Bourke St! That was solid proof of fare evasion! What a shame, he could’ve said something else

Girl: I’m gonna ask you questions and you have to tell me the answers, okay?

Boy: *grumbles* … okay…. *grumbles some more*

Girl: Okay, tell me who is Marc Jacobs..?

Boy: err.. isn’t he that singer?

Girl: err.. noo.. that’s the singer Marc Antony !

Boy: Oh I know! Isn’t he that guy from the Bible?

Girl: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Boy: What, Jacob with the multicolored coat! He is in the Bible!

Girl continues laughing…

*true story*

i have a guy friend who’s a total wanger.

Well he’s not always one. But most of the time, especially to me, he is.

At first I tolerated his behavior. I reasoned for him, eventhough my conscience told me to “get out! out!” of my comradeship with him. I’ve always thought he’s a bit of a nerd who’s incapable of performing socially acceptable conduct. So even though he’s totally toxic, I tolerated most of his anti-social behavior. Getting angry for not having his way in group discussions? Ah sheesh that must be his socially inept side playing out. Laughing at other people’s misery right in front of their face with super annoying loud laugh? Huh, must be his childishness. I always thought “well he’s a bit rough around the edges, but time will straight him up.”

There are, of course, good things about him. How else do I stand around being his friend all this time? He’s smart. Academically, although not street-smart. He has a wide range of interest which subsequently leads to a wide range of knowledge, so he’s fun to talk to. Although later he confessed they were never really his interests; he just got into them because his friends were, and he doesn’t want to miss out so he “dig” them too… geez how un-original..

But his good things eventually didn’t help him out for me. I grew tired of his socially inept ways. In the end, I gave up. That’s it. He offended me, his behaviours are totally unacceptable anymore.

That’s when I realised, all this time, I tolerated him too much. But WHY? Why do I accept his childish, antisocial behaviour? When I remember perfectly how I have rejected and shunned many others who acted his way?

Well, today, just now, I finally have my answer. It’s because he’s a guy.

My other friends, who I have rejected and mocked for being so embarrassingly childish while looking so sophisticated and mature on the outside, were all girls! None of them was a guy.

So is that why? Do I subconsciously have an understanding in my mind that GUYS ARE CHILDISH, therefore ACCEPT THEM WHEN THEY ACT SO ? While girls are not supposed to be childish, therefore when they are, shunned and jeered at them?

I think so.

I think that’s what I have always had in mind all along. That’s why I tolerated my obnoxious guy friend for almost 2 years, while the same girl friend only lasted a couple months before I made her change (well I’d like to think I contributed to her changed ways..)

Why do I have this subconsciousness?

The culprits are:

1. TV media, Hollywood movies, anything that shapes culture

2. My little brother, and the way my family tolerated him

The second one is probably it.

Oh my GOODNESSGRACIOUS.

Well, I guess I better read some Freud before I make romantic relationship mistakes due to my subconscious mind..

come on just stop all this drama! if you’re attracted to guys, and not girls, your gay! stop pretending, stop saying ur bisexual bcos its totally different!

it’s really simple, you like A, you don’t like B. If you go out with B when u actually like A, you’re:

1. lying to B

2. lying to yourself

3. closing out a happier future romantic possibilities with A!

4. you’re a liar, a player, and you’re playing with another person’s heart!!!!!!!!!

WHY NOT BE TRUE TO URSELF and STOP THE DRAMA and SAVE EVERYONE FROM HEARTACHES????

DUMBASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

After all this time, I finally realised what I want to do. I might have bits of clues back in my younger days, but has just trully found the full picture the last few weeks. Talking to my dad really put the puzzle pieces together in a neat frame. It is a clear picture of what I want in my life. This provided me with a goal to pursue. All I need now is to stay in my track, and not get distracted. Put my ducks in a row, and get them done fast without wasting time. One thing wrong about me is I get all things right in my head, but never really action my thoughts. This I have to change.

timing IS important. there’s a lot of learning and growing up that a person needs to do, before she/he can be in a full-fledged relationship (what i’d like to call a ‘real’ relationship).

so far in my life i’ve encountered those who would otherwise be perfect, except for some under-development in several areas of their lives/personality/motivations/vision of life/etc etc.

i guess that’s why couples who’ve broken up in the past can meet again at present time, and things start heating up again. also the reason why he seemed to be just the perfect guy, but you just can’t seem to progress further in the relationship. reason for the first case was because the guy is now developed, while for the second one it’s because he is still under-developed at the moment.

and it’s not just him/her/your partner, it’s also you. everything could be so perfect, but there’s something inside you that is still unsure about things. something about you that still needs answers and some soul searching. in this case it means you’re the one not ready/under-developed.

Okay, so I’ve been watching a lot of youtube videos at the expense of my good night sleep… I’ve noted 2 things about Asians as a result. Asians born in Western countries to be exact. Okay, the countries being Australia & the States to narrow it down more.

Before we start tho, Disclaimer: what you’re about to read is my opinion, and we all know how opinions are.. It’s based on a single-person’s perspective (although I have, as a reasonable person, tried to include as many different perspective as possible). And because it is an opinion, it won’t be able to please everybody. It will only appeal to those whose opinion is similar to mine. So if you get offended easily, and not that curious to read a long blog post, the top right corner has an “x” button you can click.

Besides, this observation is from YOUTUBE. youtube everybody, hello: the internet. So it definitely does not capture all the true conditions of the real asian population.

Anyway.. At the risk of sounding FOBy, here’s my observation:

1. Asians not born in their parent’s (or grandparent’s, or great great grandparent’s) country of origin, tend to see the “asia” as not part of their own. It’s like looking at some “foreign” stuff. Which is a shame, because you’re looking at things that should be your own, as if it was somebody else’s.

(I actually have a lot more on this topic that I want to write about, but I forgot in the midst of clicking through youtube videos.. anyway, let’s move on to point 2).

2. Asian GIRLS not born in the motherland tend to not appreciate how cute and handsome and awesome Asian boys are! Of course not the fobby skinny distorted-face ones. Totaly understandable that skinny and ugly are not attractive. So is being fobby, as it shows innability to assimilate into a culture (which is a crucial survival skill).

But if the guy is okay (if not good-looking and smart and all the awesomeness you can ask for), why still aspire to be with a white guy? Why still think white guys are better, and can take you up the “class” i.e. the society rank? Some of the girls in the youtube videos go so far as dissing the asian guys as being: short, small (i’ve got to lol on this one tho.. hehe), Un - Athletic, not hairy enough (!), etc etc.

I guess the above can pass as “taste”, as in different girls have different taste. But look at the asian guys in the youtube videos! they are yumminess in a laptop screen! They are great guys with great looks, great body, and I’m sure great brains too (video was filmed by Berkeley students). Why with these great asian guys, asian girls still think asian guys as inferior to white guys?

My theory is that these girls were born and raised in an environment where most people are white. Their human survival instinct give to a desire to assimilate, and be white. Naturally they see and desire the white guys too.

This argument is flawed of course. It doesn’t explain why asian girls born and raised in asian countries also desire white men. White male Expats in ASEAN countries must know what I mean. But still, at least these girls appreciate and desire asian males more than their westernized counterparts do.

Such a shame isn’t it? It’s such a waste that good guys like these are not put to good use. hehe. Think about the many enjoyable romantic rice dinners, anime & korean drama movie nights, and rice rocket ride-around-town these girls are missing out.

————————————————————–

Oh and NON-asians, if you count how many asian friends you have.. then it actually shows how not “asian-friendly” you are.. it shows how having an asian friend is like a “prize” to you.. counting them is like counting how many prized possessions you’ve collected so far.. that’s jst not right because, in a true sense, friends are there to be your friend, not your “prize”d possessions or collections..

okie, thats it for now .. if you got offended, I’ve warned that you would.

=)

it is what you “earn” that matters.. at our age we may not know all the “answers”, but at least we’ve got the right question”

hey,

I guess life is just full of undiscovered things for me!

So.. I just realized.. All this time I was thinking “why take commerce?”

There’s nothing very …um… *can’t find the word*… humanitarian, noble, green peace, peace corp, kinda thing..

Anw, yeah, I have always thought “why do I take commerce?”

I’m not helping anyone, I’m not producing anything for the greater good of the humanity. There’s really no direct tangible result when you talk about commerce.

Like if you talk about doing Architecture or Design, then you know at least there will be some piece of art produced. A table or maybe a pretty dress, or some advertisement in a billboard or something.

But people are still doing commerce, and no one is making it a big fuss like I do.. So I thought, hmm, maybe as a person I need to “get” the meaning of what I’m creating to be satisfied with life.

Anw.. that was random, ciao for now!